Not So Famous…

Being anti-social is one thing.  Sometimes I just don’t feel like being around people, talking, smiling, etc.  And that’s ok, really…unless you’re around people.

And that’s where I am right now, which is why family is in the other room watching a comedian, and I’m in here, on the computer, as though I’ve not spent all freakin’ day on the computer already.

Maybe I’m just tired?  Who knows?

I’m going to go play Scramble.

Yup, yesterday Kim grabbed my hand, pressed it to her tummy, and we played the “can you feel that” game.  Have you ever played this game?  It’s riveting.  :)

First, she says, “DID YOU FEEL THAT???”  And when you answer no, she’s sort of incredulous.  No point in reminding her that the baby is still inside her, and thus, she’ll feel things no one else in the world can.  It won’t do you any good.  A couple seconds later, she’ll ask again.  Despite your desire to make up that you can feel something when you can’t, you should be honest, because you will be amazed when you CAN feel it, and she’ll know when you’re lying.  Plus, the only reason she’s grabbing your hand and starting this game is because SHE felt it on the OUTSIDE of her tummy already.  If you lie, she’ll totally know.

Yesterday, I felt my son kick for the first time.  It was pretty cool.  I was also informed that I will be enrolled in a birthing class soon, which is less cool.  I posited that I learned everything about childbirth that I needed to know from Bill Cosby’s Himself routine.  I was quickly informed that what I didn’t know about the childbirth process could fill books the size of the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica.  (I didn’t bother to toss out the fact that the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica can fit on a CD now, which is pretty small.  I figured it would only get me in trouble.  After 5 years, I’ve learned SOMETHING!)  (Note: The entire conversation, apart from the birthing class and my Bill Cosby comment are fictional, and should be completely ignored.)

Anyway, I’ll be sure to let you all know how the birthing class goes.  Given my ability to derail almost anyone with something important to say, I’m sure the results will be comical.  For those who are unaware of my said derailing ability, I give you the following evidence.

First, when I was getting my first glimpse of Iain on the ultrasound, the doctor said,

“Right now, the baby doesn’t look like much.  Looks sort of like a ….”

“Lima Bean,” I said.

“Uh, yeah.  You could call it Lima,” quipped the doctor.

“Or Bean…we haven’t decided yet, really.”  The doctor didn’t laugh, didn’t react except to look at me like I’d said, “What do babies taste like?”  I stopped talking after this.

The other time I derailed was far more intentional.  I was at a friend’s wedding rehearsal.  You know how wedding planners are, and this lady was going through her spiel fast….and I mean FAST.  When she finished, I was rather impressed, and would have been content to say nothing, but then she said,

“Does anyone have any questions?”  Well, of course, I can’t let that pass without some form of moronic comment.

“Yeah, I do.”  Everyone turned to look at me. “Where will the snipers be?  I was thinking that this nice little emplacement over the door would be a perfect spot for an internal sniper, given the perfect view of the entire sanctuary.  And I was thinking I could be placed outside…perhaps on the roof?”  She looked at me as though I had….well….as though I had just suggested sniper emplacements for a wedding.  Luckily, the groom to be came to my defense.

“It’s a good question, really.  Have you given any thought to it?”

Anyway, the birthing class should go well.  I bet I fail.  Good thing I’m not the pregnant one.

This rant is NOT anti-military.  This rant is about the absurdity of assuming that an 18 year old is not mature enough to drink, but he’s mature enough to be given a machine gun and asked to die for his country, or even that he’s mature enough to decide who ought to run this country.

Keep this in mind.  I am not saying that 18 year olds are not mature enough to handle machine guns.  I’m asking for consistency in arguments by the anti-drinking Nazi’s.  Either raise the age for all other “adult” things to 21, or else lower the drinking age to 18.  Keeping the drinking age at 21 is getting more and more ridiculous as time goes on.

Kudos to the presidents of these colleges for asking that the debate be reopened; for bucking the tide of popular, theocracy-desiring opinion and asking that we discuss whether the 21 drinking age has had the effect that was intended.  If only they’d do the same for the “War on Drugs”.

Oh, and these anti-alcohol groups like MADD, SADD, BADD, and other *ADD groups, quit being ridiculous and calling for a “boycott” of those schools where the presidents have asked to reopen the discussion.  Assuming that these presidents are personally walking to dorms and handing out liquor is a little…retarded, don’t you think?  They’re going to uphold the law, if for no other reason than they could lose their position and considerable salary by not upholding the law.

They’re just asking that we discuss this, not stating their intention to abandon the law.

Let me ask you this: Has the “war on drugs” lessened the drug abuse in this country? Do speeding laws keep you from speeding when no one’s around? Does telling your child “no” mean that they’re never going to do it?

Making something illegal doesn’t lessen its occurrence.  It merely makes it more likely to happen behind closed doors. It makes the activity more enticing. It gives these young people the chance to “stick it to the man” in one more way.  If you had your way, I know, you’d create another Prohibition Era.  Well, do the research before you conclude that the Prohibition Era was the Golden Era of Morality. It accomplished the opposite of its intent.

Oh, and for those of you Christians who oppose drinking on religious grounds: Jesus drank. If Christ drank wine, and drinking wine is a sin, then you have removed His ability to be the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.  If drinking is wrong, then Christ is a sinner, and His sacrifice on the Cross and subsequent resurrection was a LIE.  And if you start spouting off about Jesus’ non-alcoholic wine, I’m merely going to point you back to the Bible and ask for a shred of proof.  You won’t find it.  You’ll merely reason in a circular fashion and return.  Jesus drank.  The apostles drank. Paul encouraged Timothy to drink. The early church drank.  Calvin drank.  Martin Luther drank.  You’re holier with your lack of Biblical understanding than these men?  Get over yourselves.

Those are answers I find myself having to give more and more these days.

I don’t scream when I’m excited.  I don’t jump up and down, clasping my hands at my breast. I just…think excitedly, I guess.  Sometimes I pump my fist and say (not shout) “yes….”

Funny how when I talk on a regular basis, everyone assumes that I’m just joking around, but when it comes to the grave responsibility of raising a child, everyone thinks that my child’s first words could be found in George Carlin’s “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” routine.

So yes…I’m excited.  I’m quite a bit apprehensive, as I’ve said before. I do understand, probably more than many parents from the looks of things, just how serious of an undertaking I’ve begun, ok?  What do I mean?  When you have a child, you’re raising an immortal, regardless of your beliefs.  That child has a soul, and that soul has an eternal resting place.

I’m also talking about the father’s role in raising children, and that’s not limited to providing food and shelter, though that’s important.  I’m talking about being a true leader in the home.  Teaching your children, and not delegating it to the church.  Teaching your children, and not delegating that to the government, whether or not you’re sending them to public schools.  Educating your children in the things of the spirit, in the sciences, in music, in sports, in government and civics, in economics, in all things.  Leading your household…THAT is the role of the father.  And many fathers are far more interesting in pleasing themselves than in selflessly giving their lives for their family.  They’re more willing to delegate their responsibilities to the church, to the government, to the daycare facilities.  And serving God first and foremost as an example to your wife and children.  I know, I know….everyone’s busy.  Everyone’s got too much on their plate.  There just aren’t enough hours in the day….I know.  But that’s not an excuse.  The Lord has commanded you to be the leader of your home in these things, which means He has provided the means by which we can accomplish these things. Anything less is sin.

I’m sure there are some angry parents out there.  I’m not denigrating your child-rearing skills…I’m not thinking about anyone in particular.  I’m speaking in generalities.  If you feel I’m speaking directly to you, think about how much you’re interested in serving your own lusts, and how often you choose that above all else.  If you’re saying “I do <this> and <that> for my kids, but…” you still feel guilty?  Don’t look to me.  I’m going to be feeling the same thing here in awhile, I can tell you that right now.  Because we’re not perfect.  But many of us don’t even know what to shoot for!

THAT is important.  Because if we don’t have our standards set in the right place, we’ll answer such arguments, saying “LOOK AT ALL I DO!!!”  But what you DO isn’t the issue.  It’s what you don’t do.  It’s the things you ought to be doing and aren’t that is the issue here.  It’s the same as with sin.  If I ask most of the people I meet whether they’re Christians or not, most of them will say they are.  If I ask them how they know they’re going to heaven, this is where things will get a little muddy. “I’m basically a good person.”  “I don’t sin as much as <insert really bad person>.”  “I do some good.”  Etc.  The issue isn’t what good you’re doing, and the goal isn’t to basically do more good than bad.  The standard is absolute PERFECTION.  That is what we shoot for.  We ought not sit back, content, because we’ve never murdered anyone.  Have you ever been angry with anyone?  Called them a name, like “fool”, or “moron”?  You’re just as guilty as the murderer. We don’t weep over our sin because we think the standard is much lower than it really is.  What is the standard?  “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect.”  Got it?  Perfection.

When we are looking at what to shoot for, myself included, we need to weep when we fall short.  We need to strive against our sins, but we need to continue striving, and not be content with where we are…ever.  That’s what parents are called to do.  It’s sobering, isn’t it?  It’s rough, isn’t it?  I’m there in my own life….not with my children, but with the sin in my own life.  I know what the standard is, and I’m speaking as much to myself as anyone else. I know I’m going to make as many or more mistakes than anyone reading.

In short….yes, I’m excited about having a son soon.  And yes, I want to raise my children well.  My excitement about the former is tempered by the real meaning of the latter.

But I *AM* totally looking forward to singing in public to embarrass my kids.  So much fun!!!

Many of you know that I’ve recently become a huge fan of what has been variously termed as Neo-Classical metal, Epic Metal, Symphonic Metal.  Symphony X is a huge frontrunner in this category, and probably one of my favorites.  However one of the sub-categories of this genre, as I mentioned in the title, is FFM or Female-Fronted Metal.

In this genre, we find seriously wonderful groups like Epica, Sirenia (mostly), Nightwish (mostly), Within Temptation, Echoes of Eternity, Sonata Arctica, and many others.  I’ve recently discovered a new band who will be touring with Epica, and they are called….

Amberian Dawn

Man, these guys are awesome.  Her voice reminds me of Tarja’s (formerly of Nighwish) voice without that quality I found annoying.  Their music is definitely symphonic and epic.  I quite enjoy them.  Go to their official site (linked on their name above) and their Official MySpace Page, where you can listen to some of their music.  Even better is that their music is on Amazon, available for download (River of Tuoni is their album) for like $9.00.  (Amazon has DRM-free mp3’s, for those who care about that.)

Anyway, feel free to check them out, buy their music, and become a fan on their Facebook page!

We found out on Tuesday of this week that we’re going to be having a little boy in mid-December.  I’m excited and apprehensive.

I could go into all kinds of emotional detail about whether I feel I’m ready to or possess the capability to be a good father, etc.  I’ve gone through it all, and all it does is bewilder Kim.  lol

I just don’t see me as a dad, to be honest. It’s weird to think I’ll be holding a baby.  I don’t know if Kim knows this, but I don’t remember if I’ve ever held a baby.  It helps that I scare most children I’m near…they don’t much want to be around *me*, so I usually get out of being forced to hold them.  In hindsight, this was perhaps not such a good thing.  lol.

We’re playing some Hackmaster tonight, which should be some fun.

I can’t think of anything going on this weekend, so I guess it’s going to be nice and calm.

I don’t know if I’ve blogged about this, but my XBOX 360 has been giving me some problems.  When I consider my problems against the vast majority of 360 problems, I suppose it’s not too bad, but it’s still annoying.

I got the 360, Rock Band, and GTA IV a couple months ago, and within a month or so, the 360’s video and audio was blanking out sporadically when I played GTA IV.  GTA is a MUCH more graphically intense game than Rock Band, so I figure it’s overloading some bad circuitry in my XBOX.  I set up a repair online and sent my XBOX in to have it repaired.  Well, they didn’t repaired it…they replaced the whole darn thing. I thought my problems were gone.

They were not.

After a couple hours of playing, the same thing happened, and it actually seemed to be worse!  So now I was faced with a problem possessing a couple different variables.

1. It could be the 360 Console, itself. – I didn’t think this was very likely, since no one else was reporting the same issue as I was, and I’d been doing a lot of searches online for people reporting the same issue.  It seemed very unlikely that I would get a new console with the same problem.
2. It could be the GTA IV Game Disc. – I didn’t think this was very likely, either, since when dsics fail, they usually can’t be read, or they freeze up, etc.  This seemed more like a hardware error.  Something was causing the output of the XBox to fail, and I didn’t think it was software.
3. It could be my TV – I don’t THINK this is likely, since my TV doesn’t really do any processing of the video signal.  In terms of the TV’s perspective, it’s all the same, whether it’s a graphically intensive game being displayed at 720p, or a pretty graphically simple game being displayed at 720p.
4. It could be the Component Cable that came with my original 360.  I didn’t like this option, since it’s rare for cables to fail.  The more I thought about it, though, the more likely it seemed for the following reasons:

• Aside from the disc, it’s the only part of my 360 that is left from the original setup.
• It gets quite warm by virtue of it being plugged into the rear of the 360.
• It’s got a switch on it to switch between Standard TV and HDTV, as well as a digital audio output.  i.e. it’s more than just a cable.  There’s some circuitry and logic built into this cable, and more complexity generally means that it’s more likely to fail.

So, given that I now believe the cable to be the most likely culprit, I’ve borrowed a cable from a friend.  The bummer thing is that this is a different type of cable.  It’s a VGA cable, which means it hooks up to a different input on the TV.  So this doesn’t eliminate my TV as the suspect entirely, even though I didn’t think it was very likely that it was my TV in the first place. The VGA cable seems to work with no problems, however, so I’m thinking I’m going to try and get a new cable from MS.  If that takes care of it, I’ll be happy, as this problem is rather maddening.

Ok, this is a nifty R/C hovercar, and at $250, it’s not all that expensive, compared to what has been offered in the past!  Sooooo….yeah, I want one.

I mentioned in my last post that the plan for a Baby Shower for Men was to all pitch in to brew a batch of high gravity beer that could be aged for 21 years.  When the time comes that my child is of age, they will be able to enjoy a tasty beer that was brewed before they were born.

This idea holds appeal for me for a couple reasons.

1. How cool is it to have your own beer, brewed with you in mind?  I mean, when I brew beer for myself, I do this, but I can’t say I’ve ever had a beer that was crafted with me in mind…without having to do the work.

2. How awesome would it be to drink a beer that was aged for 21 years and brewed before you were born???  There are wines out there that were created before I was born, sure, though I’ll not likely be able to try any of them.  But beer?

I know there are probably some of you out there that are wondering if aging beer is a desirable thing.  The answer is: it depends.  I hate to be vague, but there are definitely beers out there that do not age well.

• Mass-produced, forced-carbonated beers will never age well.  Part of the aging process is the continued conditioning of the beer by the residual yeast.  These are called live beers, and can be aged because technically the fermentation process is still actually occurring, albeit at a slow pace.  The longer these beers age, the more varied the flavor profile will be.  So any beer that is going to be aged needs to be live.
• Beers with a standard amount of alcohol will not age well. (8% or lower.)  Another part of the aging process is keeping the beer from going sour in the bottle. Alcohol is a preservative, and while it will not kill all the yeast, it will slow their processes.  Thus, any beer you intend to age needs to have an absurdly high abv%.

So, a style that is a candidate for aging must be high in alcohol, and somewhat under-primed.  (Priming, you might recall, is the process by which we add a little bit of sugar at bottle-time to create carbon dioxide that will stay in suspension in the beer.) We don’t want the beer to have TOO much CO2, so as to create a bottle-bomb.  So we under-prime the beer, and in 21 years, the beer has just the right amount of carbonation.

I have looked through many styles, and the beers that lend themselves well for aging are well-known in the brewing community.  The high-gravity belgian ales are great for aging.  High-gravity Scotch Ales age well.  The German doppelbock is a good candidate for aging.  A really high-gravity Imperial Stout will age superbly.  Finally, an Old Ale is commonly aged…hence the name. These are the descriptions of the styles per the American Homebrew Association.

Belgian Tripel – Tripels are often characterized by a complex, sometimes mild spicy character, but no clove like phenolic flavor. Yeast-generated fruity banana esters are also common, but not necessary. These pale/light-colored ales may finish sweet, though any sweet finish should be light. The beer is characteristically medium bodied with an equalizing hop/malt balance. Traditional Belgian Tripels are often well attenuated and bottle conditioned beers aged for a long period may be very well attenuated. Brewing sugar may be used to lighten the perception of body. Its sweetness will come from very pale malts. There should not be character from any roasted or dark malts. Very low hop flavor is okay. Alcohol strength and flavor should be perceived as evident. Head retention is dense and mousse like. Chill haze is acceptable at low serving temperatures. Traditional Tripels are bottle conditioned and may exhibit slight yeast haze.

English Barleywine – English style barley wines range from tawny copper to dark brown in color and have a full body and high residual malty sweetness. Complexity of alcohols and fruity-ester characters are often high and counterbalanced by the perception of low to medium bitterness and extraordinary alcohol content. Hop aroma and flavor may be minimal to medium. English type hops are often used but not necessary for this style. Low levels of diacetyl may be acceptable. Caramel and some characters indicating oxidation, such as vinous (sometimes sherry like) aromas and/or flavors, may be considered positive. Chill haze is allowable at cold temperatures.

Russian Imperial Stout – (Note: The AHA does not define Russian Imperial Stout as a style, so I will be using the American Imperial Stout description in its place. It sounded quite appropriate for a Russian-Style Imperial Stout.) Black to very black, American-style imperial stouts typically have a high alcohol content. Generally characterized as very robust. The extremely rich malty flavor and aroma are balanced with assertive hopping and fruity-ester characteristics. Bitterness should be moderately high to very high and balanced with full sweet malt character . Roasted malt astringency and bitterness can be moderately perceived but should not overwhelm the overall character. Hop aroma is usually moderately-high to overwhelmingly hop-floral, -citrus or -herbal. Diacetyl (butterscotch) levels should be absent.

Strong Scotch Ale – Scotch ales are overwhelmingly malty and full-bodied. Perception of hop bitterness is very low. Hop flavor and aroma are very low or nonexistent. Color ranges from deep copper to brown. The clean alcohol flavor balances the rich and dominant sweet maltiness in flavor and aroma. A caramel character is often a part of the profile. Dark roasted malt flavors and aroma may be evident at low levels. If present, fruity esters are generally at low aromatic and flavor levels. Low diacetyl levels are acceptable. Chill haze is allowable at cold temperatures. Though there is little evidence suggesting that traditionally made strong Scotch ales exhibited peat smoke character, the current marketplace offers many Scotch Ales with peat or smoke character present at low to medium levels. Thus a peaty/smoky character may be evident at low levels (ales with medium or higher smoke character would be considered a smoke flavored beer and considered in another category). Strong Scotch Ales may be split into two subcategories: Traditional (no smoke character) and Peated (low level of peat smoke character).

German Doppelbock – Malty sweetness is dominant but should not be cloying. Malt character is more is reminiscent of fresh and lightly toasted Munichstyle malt; more so than caramel or toffee malt character. Some elements of caramel and toffee can be evident and contribute to complexity, but the predominant malt character is an expression of toasted barley malt. Doppelbocks are full bodied and deep amber to dark brown in color. Astringency from roast malts is absent. Alcoholic strength is high, and hop rates increase with gravity. Hop bitterness and flavor should be low and hop aroma absent. Fruity esters are commonly perceived but at low to moderate levels.

Old Ale – Dark amber to brown in color, old ales are medium- to full-bodied with a malty sweetness. Hop aroma should be minimal and flavor can vary from none to medium in character intensity. Fruity-ester flavors and aromas can contribute to the character of this ale. Bitterness should be minimal but evident and balanced with malt and/or caramel like sweetness. Alcohol types can be varied and complex. A distinctive quality of these ales is that they undergo an aging process (often for years) on their yeast either in bulk storage or through conditioning in the bottle, which contributes to a rich and often sweet oxidation character. Complex estery characters may also emerge. Some diacetyl character may be evident and acceptable. Wood aged characters such as vanillin and other woody characters are acceptable. Horsey, goaty, leathery and phenolic character evolved from Brettanomyces organisms and acidity may be present but should be at low levels and balanced with other flavors Residual flavors that come from liquids previously aged in a barrel such as bourbon or sherry should not be present. Chill haze is acceptable at low temperatures. (This style may often be split into two categories, strong and very strong. Brettanomyces organisms and acidic characters reflect historical character. Competition organizers may choose to distinguish these types of old ale from modern versions.)

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So, now I put it to you, my readership, to help me determine what beer my child will drink in approximately 21 years! I have listed the styles, and provided descriptions, so let me know what you think.  Discussion may take place before or after your vote in the blog comments below.  I am also open to an option I hadn’t yet considered, which is why I allow you to vote “Other” in the poll below.  Please note that any “Other” votes ought to meet the conditions as described above.  It needs to be HIGH in alcohol.  Some of the styles I listed above aren’t even high enough in their normal states, so I’m going to be kicking them up a notch.  13% or higher will be desirable, and the higher, the better, IMO.  In addition the brewing process can’t consist of weird procedures that are going to be difficult or impossible for me to do.  (For example, the German Eisbock is often considered to be excellent for aging.  However, it is an Iced beer, which means that a Doppelbock is frozen, and the ice is removed, to create a higher-gravity beer than would otherwise have been created.  However, there’s no good way for me to freeze 5 gallons of wort, so I removed the Eisbock from the running.)  If you’re considering a style, but aren’t sure if it’ll be feasible, please post a comment, and we can talk about it!

(Voting closes at 11:59pm, August 31st, 2008.  Please vote before then!!)

No, not because the Olympics start tomorrow.

No, not because numerologists are happy about the date containing 3 8’s.

These events pale into insignificance beside the greatest event to happen in the last 1 year, 1 month, and 1 day!!!

I am speaking, of course, of the release of Stone Brewing Company’s latest Vertical Epic Ale!!!

The Vertical Epic Ale has been released 7 times before this beginning in the year 2002.  2-2-02, 3-3-03, etc. etc. etc.  Each Epic Ale has its own character and flavor profile, and they’re designed to be saved up, and drunk one after another with friends!  Sadly, I did not have the foresight to start grabbing up the Vertical Epics as they were released, and the older ones are quite expensive these days.  Still, I think I’ll pick up a couple bottles this year.  One to drink now, and one to age.

This brings to mind a great idea that a friend of mine had.  Many of you know Daniel, and know that while he’s likely a genius, he’s also somewhat of a retard.  Well, this idea he had is a great one.  He had the idea of getting a bunch of guys together to throw me a baby shower.  The gift would be the ingredients and the brewing of a batch of extra-high gravity beer that could age for many years.  Specifically, we would age at least a couple of bottles for 21 years, to be opened only upon my child’s 21st birthday.  They will then have the pleasure of drinking a beer that was brewed before they were born.  :-D

See??  Isn’t that a GREAT idea?  (Despite the fact that he chose to call it a “man shower”, giving me pictures in my mind that I never wanted to have.  He IS, as I said, somewhat of a retard.)  lol

What do you think???

A friend of mine created a video for a scholarship, which is interesting.  :)  I especially like the portrayal of Lt. Horation Caine by David.  :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8AanDl4oQ8

I, and he, would appreciate it if you’d at least go check it out, as part of the grading is based on the YouTube popularity of the video.  It’s only 2 minutes long.

Those of you who know David will not be at all surprised at him campaigning for tea.  :)