Not So Famous…

As with every Brew Day, there are unforeseen circumstances that prevented the day from coming off as smoothly as I’d hoped. Basically, this is what happened. Sorry for not having any pictures, but we didn’t take any. We were more concerned with getting the beer made without screwing it up.

I began adding the grain to my homemade mashing tun when I realized something very uncool: My fermenter isn’t big enough. I have a 5 gallon cylindrical cooler, and 14.5 pounds of grain just fit in it. Very quickly, we came to the conclusion that I wasn’t ABOUT to get 6.5 gallons of 161 degree water in it.  We had to mash and sparge in 2 batches. This made the whole process take more than twice as long as it was supposed to have taken. We got it done, but it took a long time.  I’m glad we started early.

The boil was fine, as was the pouring of the wort into the fermenter.  In fact, everything worked just fine.  I realized, however, that I’m going to have to get a larger mashing vessel if I’m going to have to do more all-grain batches.

This does mark the occasion of the my first EVER all-grain brew. The Crazy Hamish Scotch Ale was a mostly all-grain brew. I had to add syrup to bring me up to the original gravity that I needed to get my alcohol percentage.

This batch, however, didn’t end up as high of a gravity as I would have liked.  However, this batch has hops, which are an enemy of bacteria, so we’re going to be ok. And a low-alcohol brew is definitely more traditional.

In all, I don’t know what is causing my low extraction efficiency. I suspect that doing the mashing in two batches didn’t help.  I’m going to have nicer setup for the next batch, I think.

It was a fun day, and I’m glad that I’ll have two batches of ale to hold me over this summer!

I know that Brew Day is officially the 29th, but tonight is when I begin my brewing process.

Yeast Starter - I know I talked a little about this before, but I have increasingly become convinced that a successful brew begins with a bottle full of yeast. Allow me to explain.

I don’t know much about the history of brewing yeast aside from the fact that the most successful and consistent brewers grow their own yeast cultures, preserving a successful strain past one batch of wonderful beer. I’m not ready to go that hardcore, but what I DO want to do is give my yeast the good life.

Yeast consume sugar and produce alcohol and Carbon Dioxide (CO2). They also respirate Oxygen, etc. as they make beer. When yeast are hard at work, they are also creating millions of new little yeast cells, which also spend their entire life in my beer. That is the life of a yeast cell.

Yeast have a hard life, however.  As you can imagine, living in your own by-products is not exactly pleasant. The alcohol they produce kills at least a couple million of my little friends, which is why pitching a couple thousand yeast cells into my unfermented wort is not the best of ideas. Hence, the starter.

Now, Wyeast produces these neat packages of yeast that are guaranteed to have at least 5 billion yeast cells in them. They are liquid-filled pouches with a small nutrient pack floating inside.  When you’re ready to pitch the yeast, you smack the pack with your hand, breaking the nutrients out, and giving the little yeast colony a nice jumpstart. However, I want to create a lot more yeast cells.  I want them to go nuts.  I need to create a starter.

A starter is simply a small batch of beer that has been created for the purpose of feeding and breeding yeast cells. Basically, I boil 2 cups or so of water, add some Dry Malt Extract (which is the powder that results from completely removing the water from a mash of grain.  You end up with as close to pure maltose as you can get), and boil for awhile.  The boiling dissolves the sugar and sanitizes the liquid. I also sanitize my half gallon jug, airlock and stopper. I smack the yeast and wait.  After the yeast has had some time to get all fired up (the package says 3 hours, but I don’t have that long…I’ll give it a half hour), I pour the cooled starter liquid into my jug, shake, and toss in the yeast. The shaking adds air, which makes the yeast as comfortable as possible.  This little batch sits in a dark place while the yeast multiply.

By brew day I’ll have several billion yeast cells more than I did, and I will be giving my yeast colony every chance to survive.  This is good news, my friends, because it means a tasty beverage waits in my future.  :)

Saturday is Brew Day.  Keep your eyes on this spot.

Merry Christmas to you all.  I mean that, even though the tone of today’s post will be less than cordial. I had a Merry Christmas, and I hope you all did as well.

One of the more "down" notes of my Christmas Day was that my shower wouldn’t turn completely off when I got out Christmas Morning.  I had my father-in-law come over to take a look and he told me how to replace the cartridge, etc.  It’s not a big deal, really.  Pull off the hardware and pry out the cartridge.  A new cartridge will (hopefully) stop the leaking.

So I get it all taken apart, and I head over to the local Ace Hardware Store (the helpful place). I pick up the cartridge I need (with a little bit of confusion over two parts that look exactly the same. (Turns out one is genuine and one is a generic part.  I bought the generic.  I’ll let you know how it works.)  When I come out of the store, I see a dent in the side of my freakin’ car.  I do the customary "how long has THAT been there?  Was it there when I got into my car at home?  Did I hit someone on the way here?" sort of musing, when a man approaches me. He tells me that some guy in a big white utility truck backed out of his spot and rammed my car. He says, "it rocked your car pretty good, man."  Apparently, the dude got out and looked at the damage, and then drives off.  (And yes, my paranoia dictates that I look at the informative man’s vehicle as he drove off.  No pieces of my car on it.)

So now I’ve got a big freakin’ dent with my accent bar hanging from the right rear quarter-panel. If you happened to be at Ace Hardware in Oakdale on December 26th around 10:45am, and you happened to hit a black Honda Civic and then drive off, you’re a freakin’ jerk who doesn’t deserve a freakin’ driver’s license.  You could have at least stopped and waited for me to come out, to tell me that you’re sorry.  Left a note….SOMETHING.  But, no.  Like most people that happen to be walking the face of this sorry planet, you are more concerned with getting where you’re going than with anyone else’s circumstances.  You’re more concerned with how much your mistakes will cost you than with doing the right thing. Your self-centeredness dictates your entire existence, and when you cause someone else inconvenience or discomfort, you’re more concerned with how much time and money this will set you back than with apologizing, as you ought to.

My car isn’t really amazingly nice.  My car isn’t very expensive…or worth very much.  I can drive with this dent.  It doesn’t wreck the usefulness of my car, and I doubt I would have taken any money or anything to get it fixed.  But I would have appreciated the 5-7 minutes it would have taken you to apologize for your ignorance as to the vehicles that happen to be in the same freakin’ parking lot that Your Worshipfulness happens to occupy.

Why "Your Worshipfulness"?  Well, you see, from your inconsiderate attitude, I have deduced that you are apparently royalty who can’t be held accountable for your own actions, as you are obviously divinely placed in your position. You are apparently the center of the entire freakin’ universe, and so don’t need to bother with the disposition of your clearly inferior subjects.

If you are reading this, and you know someone who happened to hit a car the day after Christmas in the Ace hardware parking lot of Oakdale, let them know that they’re an inconsiderate jerk, who really ought to apologize when their amazing ignorance of their surroundings causes them to do something so incredibly stupid resulting in damage to someone else’s property.  (Especially when said property is quite obviously stationary, due to the laws of physics…specifically inertia.)

Given that you hit my stationary car, I suggest that your concern while driving ought not just be moving cars.  I’d watch out for houses and other assorted buildings, trees, and utility poles, were I you. They also display a certain immovability that could prove to be problematic for you, sir.

Have I ever hit parked cars?  Yes.  In all but one case, I apologized.  In that one case, I was young and stupid.  I have asked for forgiveness from God for that case. For what it’s worth, the van that I hit when I tried to start my truck without pressing the clutch was undamaged.  I couldn’t even see a scratch.  My truck was pretty dented and more ugly as I drove off. In the other two cases, I stopped, apologized, and tried to make it right, even though I didn’t have the money.  It made me feel stupid. I have since watched out for abovementioned poles, houses, and trees.

First, the blessing.  We should always focus on our blessings first and foremost, right?

Hey, I have a job!  I’m not sticking this in anyone’s face, but the economy isn’t the greatest…especially in the building sector, and I’ve given enough of my laid-off co-workers a ride home after turning in their company vehicles that I am very thankful for the blessing of having the opportunity to work!

My co-workers are a fun bunch…so sharing Christmas Eve day with them is no hard thing.  :)  We’re joking, eating, and just generally spreading Christmas Cheer to anyone we come in contact with.

Finally, while I feel I’m a social person most of the time, when I’m spending lots of time with family, I sometimes need to get away.  Much of Kim’s family is here for the holidays, and I love them all…a lot!  But when giant groups of people congregate, I want to be somewhere else. I don’t like crowds…it’s a weird thing about me.  I love telling stories…I love joking with people. I just don’t like large groups of people. So today is a nice little break before I go to my dad’s side for the Dow Christmas Eve celebration ‘07.

Another blessing is that most people are off today.  The roads are nice and clear.  No one driving 30mph in a 55 zone with too much oncoming traffic to pass them.  I had a nice, leisurely drive to work this morning.  I wish it was like this every morning.

The only curse is that all of my friends are off.  I can see them on XFire playing video games, and it makes me want to play some Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar!  :) 

This weekend was a lot of fun.  My kilt came on Saturday, so I wore it all day Saturday and out to dinner that night. Got all kinds of spectacular looks.  I’ll post pics when Kim takes some.  (After I get my kilt socks, belt, and sporran hangers.) Also wore it to church on Sunday, which was interesting.  I got a lot of positive and confused comments.  :)  My pastor said, “THAT is a daring move.” I would think that a Presbyterian Church, above any other church, would be able to appreciate traditional Scottish attire.  :)

It was a lot of fun, and am looking forward to wearing my kilt many more times.  :)

I’d like to plug Bear Kilts here, by the way.  He’s not taking orders right now, but keep an eye on http://www.bearkilts.com.  When he gets caught up, he’ll likely start taking limited orders, and his kilts are stellar, based on the one I got.  Bear, himself, is a really nice guy who aims to please with his kilt orders.  I don’t know when he’ll be caught up again, but I would like to say that if you’re looking for another kilt to add to your collection, and if he’s taking orders again, his kilts are well worth it!!!

On Wednesday (my day off), I received an automated phone call from UPS letting me know that they would be delivering my video card sometime during the day on Thursday and that someone needed to be home. This was problematic in that Kim was supposed to be working that day.  She is a sub, and subs, as a rule, generally ought not get a sub for themselves.  :)  So I took a vacation day.

The video card came, and I quickly put it in the computer.  It worked like a charm!  WOOT!  Back to playing LOTRO!

On Tuesday night, on the way home from work, I stopped by my local homebrew store and picked up the ingredients I needed to make a 5 gallon batch.  I spent $82.  Before you freak out too much, let me explain what all I picked up.

Sanitizer - I am switching from the old, crappy, bleach-and-water method of sanitization to a product called StarSan. StarSan is neat because it’s totally non-rinse, and sanitizes with a mere 30 seconds of contact.  The reason it’s non-rinse is because it is only effective at a pH of 3.7 or below.  As I understand it, if the pH goes above 3.7, StarSan no longer is able to sanitize, and becomes inert. It also adds no flavor, and has been reputed to actually increase the head retention of beer. John Palmer, who has an excellent book called “How to Brew” recommended it to me, and I’ve been researching it for a couple weeks.

Cleanser - I don’t have much to say about the cleanser I picked.  It’s called Beer Line Cleaner, and as I understand it, it’s designed with professional brewers in mind. Supposed to work VERY well.

I also picked up another grain bag.  The Bitter is going to require that I use far more hops than I am used to using. A single bag isn’t going to work…  :)

Finally, I picked up some Irish Moss to be used as a clarifier.  Basically, the Irish Moss powder bonds with the hot break proteins that help to cloud beer when it’s been refrigerated. When it bonds, it drops to the bottom with the rest of the trub.  This helps to produce a more clear beer.  Since this beer is going to be a lighter-colored ale, it seemed to me that a clear beer might be desirable.

The actual beer ingredients only cost about $40.  Good deal for 5 gallons of tasty brew.  :)  I can’t wait to brew it!

To begin with, I joined the membership of the church I attend for several reasons. One of the important reasons, however, was the fact that I’d never attended a church where prayer and the Word of God was more emphasized than at Grace Orthodox Presbyterian Church.  They spend more time in prayer and straight reading the Word of God than any church I’ve ever attended, and a church like that is exactly what is needed.

That is why I am going to vote for Ron Paul.  Listen to his emphasis.  His emphasis is not necessarily on ISSUES…his emphasis is on THE CONSTITUTION.  He focuses all his stances on issues entirely upon what it says in the Constitution.  I’m wondering if many in our government (Democrats and Republicans alike) even know what the Constitution IS.

This is the interview:

I’m going to have to go into a little bit of background.  Bear with me, if you know this already…

In mid-November I found the Christmas gift I wanted my Grandmother to get me.  She’s a big gift-giver.  Different people speak different love languages, and I’d have to say my grandma’s top 2 are gift-giving and quality time.  The first increases when she can’t get enough of the second.  However, she wanted gift ideas, and it took me awhile, but I thought of something.  I’d been wanting a new video card.

My new video card was the EVGA 8800GT. According to a close friend, the new 8800 boards from NVidia are just stellar, and relatively inexpensive, to boot.  So I talked to my grandma, and she liked the idea.  So she bought it.  Here’s something else about my grandma.  If you can use what she got you, she doesn’t like to wait until Christmas.  So I got it and put it in my computer.  I loved it….until Saturday…

On Saturday, I was playing Lord of the Rings Online, waiting for breakfast to be done, enjoying the wonderful water and shadow effects that I get with DirectX 10, when suddenly…Black Screen.  Music continued to play, tantalizing me with the sounds of the Prancing Pony Inn, but it was as if my poor minstrel went suddenly and tragically blind.  After entertaining some interesting notions about Blind Blues Minstrels, Blind Melon Minstrels, and other assorted blind musicians, I realized that something was terribly wrong.  I hadn’t even had the chance to drink any unsafe liquor at the Prancing Pony.  Something was wrong with my hardware.

When I started experiencing the problem, my first troubleshooting step was to yell at my computer.  That’s always the first step in troubleshooting.  It’s an instant, visceral shout. “HEY!  WHAT THE HECK?!?!!”  I’m not sure what function it solves, but I can say that I have never solved a computer problem without saying that at least once.  I then powered off my machine and restarted into Windows. The video card worked fine, prompting me to get back into LOTRO to finish my Minstrel quest.  This time, it went black even faster.  I soon realized that I couldn’t do ANYTHING without LOTRO going black on me.  I did some searches and turned up a little bit of information.  Nothing helpful, but I realized that I wasn’t the only person that had a problem like this. So I called Gabe.

Troubleshooting is definitely a more fun process when you’ve got a friend to laugh at every misstep.  It’s nice when they’re in the room, because at that point, retaliation for their mocking laughter is always an option.  With Gabe, however, it’s always fun to do it over the phone, because he gets his dad involved.  His dad LOVES to laugh at my tragic situations.  Gabe determined that it was my power supply that was causing the problem.  I downloaded the newest NVidia driver (AND NTune, Gabe….) and did a stability test.  During the stability test, my black screen soon became accompanied by a pretty blue screen with white writing…Yes, the dreaded BSOD.

At this point, I decided that I’d get a power supply, and I took Gabe with me to Best Buy to pick it up.  Brought it back, installed it, and started playing LOTRO.  Black Screen again. Near-swearing ensues.  (I can’t tell you how painful it must have been for Kim to let me buy a power supply, but we’re keeping it…my old one was secondhand.)

Gabe revised his original position at this point, explaining that the video card must be busted, as though I hadn’t figured that out already. The EVGA cards have a lifetime warranty, but you have to register on their site to get the Advanced RMA, which is a much better deal, and only costs $7.99+ for a nice, Cross-Ship RMA.  I had not registered my card….GASP.  I had 30 days from the date of purchase. I checked the date of purchase…11/16/07!  GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!  My video card blew up JUST IN TIME!

In short, I registered my card, got my RMA lodged, and as of this morning, they have approved my cross ship RMA.  I don’t know when I can expect my card, but it just so happens that I can’t play LOTRO until it comes.  This is sad.

Oh well…I’m glad this happened before the 30 days went bye bye. Could have been worse.  The moral of this story?  Don’t listen to Gabe when troubleshooting.  :)

My absence was caused by a domain transfer that took longer than I anticipated.  However, things appear to be back to normal for the moment.  If you notice an oddity or whatnot here and there, please let me know.  Odds are, I have not been alerted to its presence.  As far as I can tell right now, everything is working.  (Much to my surprise, believe me.)

In other news, bottling went extremely well a couple Saturdays ago. The Scotch Ale came out of the fermenter and went into bottles.  After we finished filling the bottles, however, we had a little bit left over to taste, and I’ve got to tell you, I have high hopes for this beer.  I’m not going to say it’s the best beer that I’ve ever tasted, but it’s easily the best beer I’ve ever made.  And….I’ve got plans for the next batch.

I will be making an English Bitter Ale, and will be calling it Sassunaich Bitter.  Sassunaich is a derogatory term by Highlanders for an Englishman.  (Well, it WAS used…back when Gaelic was the primary language.)  Sounded like a great name for an English Bitter brewed by someone of Scottish descent.  :)

There has been a great deal going on since I posted last, and I’ll probably be covering it in the upcoming days if I have the time.  For now, I’ll just have to say that I’m back, and I hope to be posting a great deal in the coming days.  I’ve missed it for the short time I’ve been away.

For those who have not been up on the blog, recently we brewed a Scotch Ale.  My original intent was to make a 140/- Scotch Ale, which meant it could have an alcohol percentage of around  10% abv.  My final product didn’t have the gravity we were hoping for (I’m thinking a low extraction rate on my grain, but I don’t know for sure), so it ended up around a standard Scotch Ale you can find in the States.  My records show it’s an 8.5% alcohol by volume brew.

I tasted the sample I drew off today (measuring the specific gravity to find out the abv%), and it tasted QUITE good.  I’m really excited about how this will turn out.  We’ll have to wait until February to try it, though.  :)