I had a conversation with my sister yesterday that did not go well. I’m not going to be specific here, but there’s a specific point of contention between us, and we were discussing it.
Her ultimate problem is not that she doesn’t know what the Bible says concerning this point of contention between us. She does know. She just doesn’t care, and that’s her problem. The particular issue she’s dealing with will clear up if the Lord converts her heart. I put it to her yesterday as an either-or situation. She either chooses to be obedient to the Lord, repents of her sin, and trusts only in Christ as her Savior for the remission of her sins, or else she chooses to continue to live in rebellion against the Lord for every sin she’s ever committed.
Her arguments are less important than the fact that she refuses to obey the Lord, but basically, she thinks that what I’m telling her regarding the Bible are “just” my beliefs, and that they’re not true for everyone. I explained to her that there’s an objective reality behind my beliefs, and that reality is what gives those beliefs any value. This objective reality is that it’s the truth, and no matter what she believes about my beliefs, that objective reality is going to assert its real-ness at some point to her. I just hope it’s not too late for her. Because there IS a “too late”, and it is exactly what I said…too late to do anything about it.
Anyway, I communicated the Gospel to her. She rejected it as completely as she could, saying those are my beliefs, and they aren’t for everybody, etc. Rejecting that there’s an objective reality apart from everyone’s beliefs. I don’t know how I can communicate it to her any more clearly.
My question is, what now? I’ve explained the Gospel to her before, and she’s rejected it. So I didn’t say anything to her about it for a long time. I know the Lord can use what I said to convert her heart, but there’s nothing I can say that I’ve not already said.
Any thoughts? Should I continue placing the Gospel in front of her, or should I just not try to bother her with it? Of course I’ll be praying…nothing will change that. I’m just curious as to what my actions should be.
Coming from someone who is somewhere between where you and she are at spiritually… I say, be there for her as her brother. Live your life without hiding your beliefs from her, but don’t try to force her to read the Bible or minister to her anything she hasn’t asked you about. What worked for me and continues to work is seeing the impact that Faith, the Lord and the Bible has on a certain friend’s life. My friend is always there when I have a question about the Bible, but she never goes beyond my questions. She understands my hesitations and allows me to come into it in my own time. She offers prayers and guidance and never pushes me further than I’m ready to go… Does any of this make sense? I know it seems simple to you, but for those of us with bad experiences with organized religion and conflicting emotions (for lack of a better word), it doesn’t come as easy. If you force it, it is just going to push her farther away from the Lord and also farther away from you. I hope you find this a little helpful. :)
You know this already, but I just wanted to say again that I’m praying for your sis, and for you and Kim as you continue to try to witness to her through your words and your lives. It’s a tough situation. I know. I’m not sure I’m really qualified to give any advice–this whole finding-the-balance issue is something I still struggle with myself–but I do want you to know that I’m praying.
The Lord can and does use the seeds you plant. Just remember that. And don’t give up on her. Keep praying–and know that there are others praying for her as well. :)
Nikki,
From a purely human standpoint, I would agree completely with you. I don’t WANT her to feel uncomfortable. However, Christianity is not just about a purely human standpoint. I spent many years (15-16 or so thus far) saying virtually nothing to her about the Bible or Christianity in general. The problem is, as the Apostle Paul said, how will the lost hear except that the Word is preached to them? There are 2 reasons I said anything to her at all:
1. She called me and asked me to pray for this situation she’s in. First off, eliminating the particular sin she’s dealing with is worthless unless her soul is converted. Christ is her only hope for redemption…without Him, her sins will condemn her no matter how much good she does…end of story. So I invited her to church. She was free to say no…she came to church. In doing that, she showed me she was open to hear about the whole point for church at all.
2. I didn’t know whether or not she’d heard the Gospel. There is no salvation apart from hearing the Word of God preached. It’s not a state of enlightenment one finds within themselves. It’s not a state in which a person does more good than evil; re-balancing the equation for good, so to speak. She needed to hear the Gospel. She needed to be convicted of her sin. She needed to realize that the God of this universe has declared His will unto His people, and that revelation is the Word of God. In short, she needed to hear the Scriptures. According to the Bible, it’s her only hope, and nothing about salvation and God is true unless we derive it from Scripture.
So my quandary was what to do now. I see your point about backing off, and there is Biblical precedent for it. (Remember, that all our knowledge about how we are to witness comes from the Scriptures only…man’s wisdom is actually foolishness.) It’s sad, because from what I’ve seen, all I’ve done by witnessing is to make her future damnation all the more severe, but I must do as I am commanded by the Lord in His Word. Jesus told the disciples that if a town did not receive the teachings of Christ, to shake the dust from their feet and go on to the next town. I’ve been sure that I shared the Gospel with my sister now. If she does not repent of her sin and trust Christ for her salvation, she will reap the eternal punishment that her choice of rebellion has sown. I have told her all of that. I don’t need to “pretty up” the Word of God…it is the power for salvation to all who believe.
It all comes down to the fact that no one seeks after God. So we who try and make the Gospel attractive are really missing the point. The book of Romans tells us that no one seeks after God…all have turned away. We’re told in many places that the fleshly mind is enmity against God; those who are not saved hate God and love iniquity. So we ought not to try to make the Gospel attractive to the lost…to do that would be to take God completely out of the Gospel, because anything having to do with God will be HATED by the lost. No, we don’t need to gussy it up. All we need to do is preach the Word, and those whom the Lord chooses to convert, those will believe on the Word and will be saved.
In short, thank you for your comment, as always Nikki. I agree with you, to the extent that the Bible commands that we present the Gospel and let the Lord do the work. I’m going to continue to pray for her, and the will of the Lord will be done in her life. I pray that it’s not to continue as she is going, but we’ll see.