Not So Famous…

That sounds like a plan, doesn’t it?

There’s a lot going on, I think…it’s just that when I try to contemplate all that is going on, I get writer’s block. Does that mean God doesn’t want me to write about it? Am I putting too much thought into that?

Yesterday I started thinking about nightmares I used to have…these are the recurring type…not the type where you have it, and it stays with you forever. These are the ones where you start dreaming them, and in your dream you think, “Oh no…not THIS again”, but you’re still scared to death. I always wondered about that. Part of me in these dreams is completely aware that it’s a dream…but it doesn’t matter….the fear of death is still there that sets your pulse to racing and causes you to be breathless when you wake. Maybe it’s Tel’aran’rhiod. (Did I spell that right?) Most people will have no clue what that means.

1. The hospital bed nightmare - This was the nightmare I feared most for many years. I remember going to sleep some nights, thinking, “Deal Lord, I hope I don’t have the dream about the hospital bed.” Here’s what happens. I’m lying in a hospital bed, but it’s a very flimsy one…more like a gurney or something. There is only a pillow and white sheets on this bed…no blankets. Suddenly, I feel the pillow moving under my head. I jump off the bed, and it spins around. Suddenly, the pillow is like the top of a mouth, and it starts telling me it’s going to eat me. The rest of the night is me running through hospital corridors to escape this bed, which is never far behind. I would say that this dream explains my terror of hospitals, but I think it infinitely more likely that I dislike being reminded of my own frailty.

2. The log prison nightmare - This one was one I often had in the summer, as I recall. Basically, I’m in a lake. And I am surrounded by a log structure that is squarish in nature. Like a log cabin, but the logs have gaps in them. I look up, and the logs seem to go up forever. Suddenly, the water starts rising. I have no wish to drown, so I start to climb up the walls of this log structure, but when I get to the top, I see that there is a log roof that looks just like the walls. There are gaps between the logs, but there is no way I can fit through them. I look down, and the water is still rising. The water never went above my head, but I always thought that if it did, I would die in real life.

3. The slow motion nightmare - This is probably my all-time most scary nightmare, and I have no idea why. If you know me, I’m sure you could look at all kinds of things about my life and say, “Oh, I know where this one comes from.” Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m just insane. This one is going to be hard to explain in text. Basically, in this dream I’m walking around living life. I’m not doing anything weird….I’m just going to school, hanging out at home. But here’s the difference….I’m doing everything at normal speed, but everyone else is in slow motion. And I don’t mean the kind of slow motion like when you slow down a recording….everyone’s voices sound normal….just slow. My family were often the slow ones in my dreams….my Uncle Dennis in particular….no idea why. Furthermore, looking back on all this, I have no idea why it was so terrifying. But I can tell you, I woke up crying every time in this dream….terrified to go back to sleep. I had this one for years and years, but it went away sometime before I moved from the home of my childhood on the west side of Modesto. I don’t ever remember having it at any of the other houses in which I have lived.

So that’s it…the exhaustive list of my recurring nightmares. There are other nightmares I could talk about that were scary, but these were the ones that came back again, and again. And they’re weird….this I know. Would you expect anything different from me? haha!