Not So Famous…

What am I? At heart, I suppose I am a consumer. This is difficult to transcribe, as it’s lately been just a bunch of random, seemingly-unconnected thoughts floating about in my brain. Here goes nothin’…

I have been trying to think lately of things to do to take up time. Not that I’m running out of things to do on my short-lived vacation…I’ve still got PLENTY to do. No, I’m trying to think of things I’d like to do with my life. Here’s what I’ve come up with, and the problems I’ve identified with each.

Compose - Oh, I’d love to compose, but whenever I sit at the piano and start playing what’s going thro’ugh my head, it turns into some easily-recognizable tune. It’s quite maddening, really.

Write - I’d love to write. I’ve tried to write, and my short stories are alright, I suppose. However, I’d love to write a major novel. I’m not looking at doing a series or anything. Nothing that adventurous and unlikely. But I’d like to write. So I sit and think of topics. And they’ve all been done. I can’t come up with anything that would not be construed as a rip-off.

Those two failed ideas have led me to the conclusion that I am a consumer. I think I’ve just consumed the creativity right the heck out of my head! I love to read…I read every night. I can’t stop reading. When I run out of books, I just re-read the ones I’ve already read! I love to listen to and play music. I love these things, and yet, when I try to et the creative juices flowing, I just emulate that which I already admire. I can write fan fiction, but it’s just fan fiction, using personalities that other writers have already created. I can’t write a tune without it sounding completely ripped from some other composer. There’s no point really.

Am I depressed? Not really. The upside of all this consumerism is that I have a very eclectic taste, and means that I can generally hold my own in conversations with most people on very diverse topics. My reading has helped me learn to write cogently, with few spelling errors. My music listening habits mean that I can recognize and hum many tunes that help me to spice up my thought life. :) I’m a good consumer, as far as all that goes.

But then there are times…mostly at night…where I would really love to CREATE something. Really…

Well, I think I’ll go to bed now. Not really though…I’ll probably just end up reading.

I’m Currently Drinking: Nothing. But about an hour ago, I drank the Seasonal “Snowcap Ale” from Pyramid Breweries. A very nice ale with malty goodness throughout. Some bitterness cuts the sweetness of the malt. Very dark and roasty. Good brew.